Exclamatory Notes From a Panda

March 9, 2012

This Post Will Be Filled With Many Exclamation Points and I’m Not Even Sorry

My Shatterboxx-designed, crowdsourced panda puns are here! If you’re reading this on a feed, you should click over for a second and check out the one-hundred percent more blog amazing, something that has nothing to do with me and everything to do with Jamie, who I would like to design my entire life. She won’t do it, because she’s busy building an empire. Fine then. At least my iPhone will be prettier.

I finally have an About page! After stridently avoiding it for months! It’s an inexplicable aversion, given that I happily write about myself all the damn time, but hey. Life is full of inexplicable aversions.

Credit Where Credit Is Due For Those Accidentally Crowdsourced Panda Puns

To Bob, for saying “Because pandas do it better” in g-chat once and letting me steal it for everything.

To Drea, for thanking me for the Pandagram after I completely mangled her Valentine’s card by stubbornly stuffing it under her door when it wouldn’t quite fit.

To Terra, for calling me Bossy Panda when I was, in fact, bossily enforcing a rigorous limbo training regimen.

To Nicole, for being my cunning co-conspirator in the birth of the panda, because she has all the good ideas.

You’re all a lot funnier than I am, and my site and I thank you sincerely.

Note: Pandafesto was all mine and I am inordinately proud of it.

More Exclamatory Expostulations! Still Not Sorry!

My essays* are almost ready! I’ve been thinking and working and thinking about them for a long time, long enough that someone with less trepidation and a more organized to-do list could’ve used that same time to build a mid-size country with recycled plastic and leftover coffee grounds in the middle of the Adriatic Sea and populate it with industrious folk looking to better their lives. I am not that person.

* The essays are about perfectionism and overcoming said perfectionism, which is hilarious because I just compared my process to that of some mythical coffee ground island-building king and found it lacking. Oh, brain hamsters. You’re adorable.

Pole dancing is actually the most fun ever! Hooray for getting to swing wildly around a giant pole without enraging firemen or accidentally breaking a stop sign!

Where does one find a wealthy patron for ridiculous ideas? I have a cuddle zoo that needs funding,* a hot air balloon that needs buying, and a lollipop forest that needs building. Have pen! Will fill out application!

* Hi, Brandy! Our dreams of llama-snuggling are close.

I’ve been adventuring! Two weekends ago was Point Dume and last weekend was biking through Venice Beach, past the television ninjas and acrobats in tutus and 60-something men poling their skateboards down the boardwalk like Huckleberry Finn down the Mississippi river.

Point Dume. Not Mount Doom, though I would completely understand your confusion. I was a little disappointed myself.

March is officially the month with all the productivity and all the endorphins, two things which equal all the happy. That also deserves an exclamation point.

You Might Also Like


  • Reply Bethany March 9, 2012 at 11:05 am

    “It’s like sitting in a shopping cart in the sky.” Oh Amber, your blog never ceases to delight me, even the About page.
    Also, thanks to your Crazy Sexy Diet recommendation, I am now eating weird food and it makes me feel SO MUCH BETTER I can hardly believe it.

  • Reply Camels & Chocolate March 9, 2012 at 11:40 am

    Ahhh, it looks so good! I covet your new site look.

  • Reply Adam March 9, 2012 at 12:20 pm

    Llama snuggling?!?!
    You’re my favorite.

  • Reply heidikins March 9, 2012 at 1:54 pm

    That absolutely could be Mt. Doom…you know, after the hippie tree huggers reforested it and added an ocean.

    What? I’m sure the panda’s would help.


  • Reply K-tee March 10, 2012 at 6:25 pm

    Such an exciting post! =)
    You’re so cute!

  • Reply nicole antoinette March 10, 2012 at 7:24 pm

    I should probably be more sore than I currently am, considering I helped BIRTH A PANDA.

  • Reply terra March 20, 2012 at 5:45 am

    YAY YOU!! So much goodness! Cheers for March!

  • Leave a Reply