My Next Adventure

September 10, 2013

Things I’ve Let Stop Me In the Past

Not having a catchy title.

Not having a plan.

Not having enough time.

Not having enough money.

A giant stress zit on my chin.

Sweat.

Unwashed hair.

Not knowing how it’s going to end.

Not knowing how it’s going to be received.

Caring about how it’s going to be received so much that it’s easier not to start.

Cure

Doing it anyway.

Doing the thing as soon as you think of the thing.

Letting the momentum carry me from idea to execution, stopping only for crackers with almond butter because my blood sugar was veering me toward werewolf.

Trusting that everything I need will come.

Realizing no one cares about a zit on my chin or unwashed hair.

Deciding that the thing I want to say and the thing I want to do is important enough that I don’t care how it’s received.

Totally caring, but deciding not to let that stop me.

I don’t know what this is going to turn into. But if I waited until I knew, I would never find out.

 

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{ 19 comments… read them below or add one }

doniree September 10, 2013 at 4:58 pm

YESSSSSSSSSSSSS. This is everything. Also? Edge of my seat, girl :)

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Amber September 11, 2013 at 3:54 pm

I want to star this, but that’s not how wordpress works.

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brandy September 10, 2013 at 6:38 pm

Three things: 1. I love you. 2. I love you. 3. I love you.

I ditto Doni, this is everything.

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Amber September 11, 2013 at 3:54 pm

I’m also not allowed to star this. Get it together, wordpress.

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Maxine Dangerous September 10, 2013 at 7:19 pm

Really dig these videos and the adventures you have taken and will take. Love your writing, your insight, your courage, your humility, and how I laughed right after I thought, “Did she just point to her boob?” and you said the same thing. :)

I am also a writer and in that place of yearning where I know there is something more for me to find, latch onto, discover, share with the world, but also in a spinny little ball of fear and uncertainty because of adulthood and responsibility and all the ‘shoulds’ that are weighing me down. At this point in my life, my autobiography could be called “Seeking Traction.” Not the kind with body casts and pulleys, even though I am clumsy enough to make that happen. *knocks on wood* :)

Your uneasiness with seeing yourself as you record reminds me of Skype conversations I’ve had where I’m distracted by the video of myself talking. ‘Is that what my hair looks like?? Good lord.’ :)

Looking forward to your future posts!

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Amber September 11, 2013 at 3:54 pm

Thank you so much! Pointing to ones boobs is a strangely freeing experience. Highly recommended. So is writing the thing you want to write. WRITE IT! AND POINT TO YOUR BOOBS OCCASIONALLY!

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Laura Jane Williams September 11, 2013 at 1:26 am

I HAVE THE WORD YES TATTOOED ON MY PERSON.

I knew I liked you.

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Amber September 11, 2013 at 3:53 pm

I LOVE THIS.

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Elizabeth September 11, 2013 at 3:46 pm

First, you have awesome teeth.

Second, my father passed away as well in June, and I wish I could say it inspired me to do great things, but instead I have to admit it’s just inspired me to sit on my butt and wallow. (With copious amounts of Ben and Jerry’s, there is that.) I can’t even write anymore, even though I’m on deadline I’m only on page 31, with only 300 to go…When he passed 3 months ago I was on page 25. So yay me.

But I really am excited to see where your life takes you next. You are SO brave!

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Amber September 11, 2013 at 3:52 pm

I’m so sorry to hear that! And don’t worry – I was a complete wreck for two months, less of a wreck for three months, and didn’t start writing again for seven months. It will all come back – especially if you give yourself the time you need to wallow.

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Tess September 11, 2013 at 4:35 pm

this. SO MUCH. what you said about burning through the fear? yes. i nodded on my couch and muttered “yes” to myself and your words just spoke to my heart. my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer this year and i’ve been working through a lot of Big Freaking Emotions this year, and fear is totally one of them, and she and i have talked a lot about how this whole stupid cancer thing has taught us that (1) sweating the small things is stupid and (2) sweating the small things can stop you cold. so i’m trying, too, to push away the worry and the fear and Just Freaking Do.

so. thanks for writing and talking and putting your words and feelings out there. it resonates.

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Amber September 11, 2013 at 5:56 pm

Dude, I’m so sorry to hear about your mom.

I’m really finding that Just Freaking Do is so much easier after Just Freaking Feel. The most productive I’ve ever been was the day after spending four hours sobbing on the floor. WHO KNEW?

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Melissa September 11, 2013 at 4:48 pm

De-lurking to say how much I laughed in solidarity when you noted that you will never do your hair. I declared last year The Year of Figuring Out My Hair (at 30, it seemed like time), and I made some progress (mostly Moroccan oil), but I will never be someone who knows how to “do” their hair. Which, whatever, I still look presentable and get to do lots of other things with those 20 minutes in the morning, but it is still nice to know there are other people out there who think like I do. :) Best of luck on your new adventures!

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Amber September 11, 2013 at 5:57 pm

Fist bump, sister. I had my hair blown out at a salon once and I was absolutely stunned at the difference it made. But apparently I simply don’t care enough to apply anything but shampoo and a comb. SORRY, HAIR. YOU LOSE.

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Vera September 12, 2013 at 2:04 pm

Hi, I have accidently come across your blog, watched the first video and cried. Because that was exactly what I needed to hear but just didn’t know it. Then I watched the second and third video and cried some more. I want to say thank you that I look forward to more of your work.

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Nadine September 13, 2013 at 7:15 pm

These videos are amazing and inspiring and… real. Thank you for sharing your adventures with us.

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Tabby September 14, 2013 at 7:21 pm

I’m am so happy to catch up on your posts; a car accident recently put me out of commission (but I’m a-ok, and all healed now). Anyway, fantastic – as always! As fate would have it, I happened to read them all during a emotional funk I’ve been fighting and you made me feel so much better – thank you for making me smile and always inspiring me. I have NO DOUBT you will achieve all these things you want to and I can’t wait to hear about your journey and all the beautiful things in store for your 35th. p.s. haha, I have a Hello Kitty shirt too. :)

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Ron September 18, 2013 at 10:10 pm

You are unwritten. Hope these lyrics make sense of your moment. I heard the melody watching your videos. Awesome…… I am unwritten
Can’t read my mind, I’m undefined
I’m just beginning
The pen’s in my hand, ending unplanned

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words
That you could not find

Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin

No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips

Drench yourself in words unspo

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marty September 19, 2013 at 1:40 pm

This is a great post for those of us who like to proscrinate and give up.Inspired me to remember no matter how stressed I get to keep going

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